It’s Not You, It’s the Workplace: Women’s Conflict at Work and the Bias that Built It

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With a startling take on why conflicts between women seem inevitable

Andie & Al are often asked about same-sex dynamics at work. Men’s relationships with one another are seen as the baseline. What does that mean for women? Is it inevitable that women’s relationships with one another become difficult—even disruptive to their careers?

It’s Not You, It’s the Workplace challenges those ideas with its real-world advice to women on ways to overcome conflict. Most importantly, the book shows how to build upon the many positive aspects of women-to-women relationships in order to foster women’s success. After all, the data is in: When women are truly satisfied in their professions, their organizations thrive. Andie & Al lay out how women, men, and their organizations can and should work together to create workplaces where successful careers are a reality for women.

Expanding on their decades of experience helping women succeed at work, Andie and Al use their combined—but distinctive—female and male perspectives to provide new and discerning viewpoints on the often-fraught scenarios of women working for, working with, supervising, and collaborating with other women. They examine each narrative in depth and provide practical, immediately usable techniques that will allow women to better develop strong networks that will foster their career success, men to help avoid or resolve women-to-women workplace conflicts, and organizations to structure their policies and practices so that bias does not block women’s career satisfaction and advancement to leadership.

Praise for It's Not you, It's the Workplace

Insightful Advice as to How to Build and Maintain Workplace Sisterhoods

Andie and Al's emphasis on the value and power of workplace sisterhoods is spot on. Women's support for and advocacy of other women is contagious. As the co-founder of a successful network for women in intellectual property, I've seen sisterhood in action. This book is filled with insightful advice as to how to build and maintain workplace sisterhoods.
Molly Keelan, Co-founder, Chicago Women in Intellectual Property "ChiWIP"
Andie & Al
2019-05-07T20:15:51+00:00
Andie and Al's emphasis on the value and power of workplace sisterhoods is spot on. Women's support for and advocacy of other women is contagious. As the co-founder of a successful network for women in intellectual property, I've seen sisterhood in action. This book is filled with insightful advice as to how to build and maintain workplace sisterhoods. Molly Keelan, Co-founder, Chicago Women in Intellectual Property "ChiWIP"

A Win-Win for Women and for Their Organizations

After having way too many women tell me that their most difficult workplace negotiations are with other women, I’m now able to offer them new guidance — “It’s Not You, It's The Workplace.” This well-researched book debunks the dangerous yet commonly held myth that day to day negotiations at work between women are destined to be played as a zero-sum game. Instead, Kramer and Harris offer women practical tips about how to negotiate good business decisions and manage inevitable workplace conflicts by adopting a mutual gains mindset. The result – a “win-win” for women and for their organizations.
Carol Frohlinger, President of Negotiating Women, Inc. and co-author of Her Place at the Table: A Woman’s Guide to Negotiating Five Key Challenges to Leadership Success

Andie & Al
2019-05-07T19:05:34+00:00
After having way too many women tell me that their most difficult workplace negotiations are with other women, I’m now able to offer them new guidance — “It’s Not You, It's The Workplace.” This well-researched book debunks the dangerous yet commonly held myth that day to day negotiations at work between women are destined to be played as a zero-sum game. Instead, Kramer and Harris offer women practical tips about how to negotiate good business decisions and manage inevitable workplace conflicts by adopting a mutual gains mindset. The result – a “win-win” for women and for their organizations. Carol Frohlinger, President of Negotiating Women, Inc. and co-author of Her Place at the Table: A Woman’s Guide to Negotiating Five Key Challenges to Leadership Success

Andie and Al Set the Record Straight

The belief that women inherently do not work well together is one of our workplaces most unhelpful narratives. Andie and Al tackle it head on and set the record straight with pragmatism and optimism. This book is perfect not only for women looking to achieve successful and fulfilling careers but for the men and organizations that benefit equally when the most talented leaders rise to the top.
Heather Cabot, Co-Author, Geek Girl Rising: Inside The Sisterhood Shaking Up Tech

Andie & Al
2019-05-07T19:02:31+00:00
The belief that women inherently do not work well together is one of our workplaces most unhelpful narratives. Andie and Al tackle it head on and set the record straight with pragmatism and optimism. This book is perfect not only for women looking to achieve successful and fulfilling careers but for the men and organizations that benefit equally when the most talented leaders rise to the top. Heather Cabot, Co-Author, Geek Girl Rising: Inside The Sisterhood Shaking Up Tech

Refreshing, Empowering, and Exactly What is Needed

I cannot tell you how many times this question has come up when I am in groups of women executives! It is great to see experts like Andie and Al get to an empirically-based answer and point to real actions. This book is refreshing, empowering, and exactly what is needed to help women successfully navigate their path to career success.
Amy Radin, Innovation Advisor and Author of The Changemaker’s Playbook: How to Seek, Seed, and Scale Innovation in Any Company
Andie & Al
2019-05-07T20:13:19+00:00
I cannot tell you how many times this question has come up when I am in groups of women executives! It is great to see experts like Andie and Al get to an empirically-based answer and point to real actions. This book is refreshing, empowering, and exactly what is needed to help women successfully navigate their path to career success. Amy Radin, Innovation Advisor and Author of The Changemaker’s Playbook: How to Seek, Seed, and Scale Innovation in Any Company

Thought-provoking and Well-researched

This very thought-provoking and well-researched book is a must-read for any executive who truly strives to create a culture of meritocracy.
Stephen P. Hills, Former President, The Washington Post

Andie & Al
2019-05-07T18:58:19+00:00
This very thought-provoking and well-researched book is a must-read for any executive who truly strives to create a culture of meritocracy. Stephen P. Hills, Former President, The Washington Post

Sensible, Practical Advice

It is hard enough for women to advance in their careers without other women coming into conflict with them. Finally, we have a clear explanation of why these conflicts occur and sensible, practical advice for overcoming them. This is an important and truly original book. It ought to be read by every woman pursuing a career, thinking about restarting a career, or a student getting ready to start her career--and, of course, by the leaders of their organizations. Andie and Al have written another terrific and groundbreaking book.
Laurel G. Bellows, Managing Principal, The Bellows Law Group, P.C. and past president, American Bar Association
Andie & Al
2019-05-07T20:11:38+00:00
It is hard enough for women to advance in their careers without other women coming into conflict with them. Finally, we have a clear explanation of why these conflicts occur and sensible, practical advice for overcoming them. This is an important and truly original book. It ought to be read by every woman pursuing a career, thinking about restarting a career, or a student getting ready to start her career--and, of course, by the leaders of their organizations. Andie and Al have written another terrific and groundbreaking book. Laurel G. Bellows, Managing Principal, The Bellows Law Group, P.C. and past president, American Bar Association

A Great Value to Working Women Everywhere

It’s Not You, It’s the Workplace is full of profound insights into the reasons women around the world so often have difficulties working with other women. As a Chinese woman, Andie and Al’s discussion of Asian women being stereotyped as the “model minority” was powerful. As a woman who spends half of her time out of the United States, I believe this book will be of great value to working women everywhere.
Yang Yang, Associate Professor, China University of Political Science and Law

Andie & Al
2019-05-07T19:07:08+00:00
It’s Not You, It’s the Workplace is full of profound insights into the reasons women around the world so often have difficulties working with other women. As a Chinese woman, Andie and Al’s discussion of Asian women being stereotyped as the “model minority” was powerful. As a woman who spends half of her time out of the United States, I believe this book will be of great value to working women everywhere. Yang Yang, Associate Professor, China University of Political Science and Law

The Time for It’s Not You, It’s the Workplace is Right Now!

In their usual candid and pragmatic way, Andie and Al build awareness for the causes of woman-to-woman conflict, re-frame the perspective of both men and women, and most importantly offer specific action plans to create a critical mass of women senior leaders to dismantle the male stereotypes of our workplaces. The time for It’s Not You, It’s the Workplace is right now!
Dr. Pat Buhler, SPHR, SHRM-SCP, Professor at Goldey-Beacom College
Andie & Al
2019-05-07T20:14:52+00:00
In their usual candid and pragmatic way, Andie and Al build awareness for the causes of woman-to-woman conflict, re-frame the perspective of both men and women, and most importantly offer specific action plans to create a critical mass of women senior leaders to dismantle the male stereotypes of our workplaces. The time for It’s Not You, It’s the Workplace is right now! Dr. Pat Buhler, SPHR, SHRM-SCP, Professor at Goldey-Beacom College

Insightful Observations and Revealing Examples

In their helpful new book, Kramer and Harris uncover the workplace dynamics that so often make it difficult for women to actively support each other’s careers. As they did in Breaking Through Bias, they break down the social science research, add their own insightful observations, provide revealing examples, and present the reader with highly original, practical, and actionable next steps to make their workplace relationships more positive and beneficial.
Kate Ahern, Director, Business Start-up Clinic, Roger Williams University School of Law, Founder, UnfrazzleAndShine.com

Andie & Al
2019-05-07T20:09:37+00:00
In their helpful new book, Kramer and Harris uncover the workplace dynamics that so often make it difficult for women to actively support each other’s careers. As they did in Breaking Through Bias, they break down the social science research, add their own insightful observations, provide revealing examples, and present the reader with highly original, practical, and actionable next steps to make their workplace relationships more positive and beneficial. Kate Ahern, Director, Business Start-up Clinic, Roger Williams University School of Law, Founder, UnfrazzleAndShine.com

An Important Book for Everyone Who Wants to See Equal Representation

As one of the few female drivers racing in NASCAR, I believe it is important for women to support one another. Kramer and Harris persuasively demonstrate how women, and groups at large, can be even more effective when women work together to combat negative stereotypes and assumptions about women. This is an important book for everyone who wants to see equal representation of men and women in any field.
Julia Landauer, NASCAR Racer, Entrepreneur, Speaker

Andie & Al
2019-05-07T18:57:00+00:00
As one of the few female drivers racing in NASCAR, I believe it is important for women to support one another. Kramer and Harris persuasively demonstrate how women, and groups at large, can be even more effective when women work together to combat negative stereotypes and assumptions about women. This is an important book for everyone who wants to see equal representation of men and women in any field. Julia Landauer, NASCAR Racer, Entrepreneur, Speaker

Andie and Al Call Bullsh^t on the Negative Narrative We’ve Been Fed

Andie and Al call bullsh^t on the negative narrative we’ve been fed about women’s same-gendered conflict in the workplace. After clearing the deck by systematically demonstrating that the evolutionary, socialization and internalized misogynistic “reasons” for this damaging narrative are false, Al and Andie get to work to show us all how we can make it better. A must read for every leader, every individual contributor, every woman, and every man in the workplace.
Lee Caraher, CEO Double Forte and Author of The Boomerang Principle and Millennials & Management
Andie & Al
2019-05-07T20:10:52+00:00
Andie and Al call bullsh^t on the negative narrative we’ve been fed about women’s same-gendered conflict in the workplace. After clearing the deck by systematically demonstrating that the evolutionary, socialization and internalized misogynistic “reasons” for this damaging narrative are false, Al and Andie get to work to show us all how we can make it better. A must read for every leader, every individual contributor, every woman, and every man in the workplace. Lee Caraher, CEO Double Forte and Author of The Boomerang Principle and Millennials & Management

Read This First-rate book

Having managed businesses in the US and Europe I have had ample opportunity to observe the workplace relations between women on two continents. Kramer and Harris’s book sheds fascinating new light on a phenomenon that has long puzzled me. I had never considered the impact of a male-dominated workplace on women’s relations with other women. I encourage any person interested in or involved with the management of ambitious women to read this first-rate book.
Marshall I. Wais, Jr., Chairman, Board of Governors, American Hospital of Paris

Andie & Al
2019-05-07T20:08:43+00:00
Having managed businesses in the US and Europe I have had ample opportunity to observe the workplace relations between women on two continents. Kramer and Harris’s book sheds fascinating new light on a phenomenon that has long puzzled me. I had never considered the impact of a male-dominated workplace on women’s relations with other women. I encourage any person interested in or involved with the management of ambitious women to read this first-rate book. Marshall I. Wais, Jr., Chairman, Board of Governors, American Hospital of Paris

Debunking the Myth that Women Intentionally Thwart the Success of Other Women

Kudos to Kramer and Harris for debunking the long-held myth that women intentionally thwart the success of other women. With the increasing complexity of two other big jobs—caregiving for children and aging parents—there has never been a more critical time for professional women to bond together and find ways to blend work and life for personal fulfillment, career advancement, and long-term financial security. This book gets rid of any perceived or real obstacles to smart women helping other smart women develop their own brands of ambition and success.
Kathryn Sollmann, Author, Ambition Redefined: Why the Corner Office Doesn’t Work for Every Woman & What to Do Instead
Andie & Al
2019-05-07T19:04:01+00:00
Kudos to Kramer and Harris for debunking the long-held myth that women intentionally thwart the success of other women. With the increasing complexity of two other big jobs—caregiving for children and aging parents—there has never been a more critical time for professional women to bond together and find ways to blend work and life for personal fulfillment, career advancement, and long-term financial security. This book gets rid of any perceived or real obstacles to smart women helping other smart women develop their own brands of ambition and success. Kathryn Sollmann, Author, Ambition Redefined: Why the Corner Office Doesn’t Work for Every Woman & What to Do Instead

Great Insights and Practical Tips

Andie and Al’s insistence on the value of women's mutual support and advocacy--sisterhood--rang true to me. Too often we are told that women are naturally antagonistic to other women. Nonsense. This book is filled with great insights and practical tips for assuring women's workplace relationships with other women are positive and satisfying. This is a terrific book!"
Congresswoman Jan Schakowsky

Andie & Al
2019-05-07T18:59:50+00:00
Andie and Al’s insistence on the value of women's mutual support and advocacy--sisterhood--rang true to me. Too often we are told that women are naturally antagonistic to other women. Nonsense. This book is filled with great insights and practical tips for assuring women's workplace relationships with other women are positive and satisfying. This is a terrific book!" Congresswoman Jan Schakowsky

An Actionable Roadmap for Change

Andie and Al touch on a topic that is a raw nerve to so many. With a specific focus on the biases women encounter with each other in the workplace, Andie and Al have dissected the issue and its effects, providing an actionable roadmap for change. This book is a must for any executive looking to make real change and achieve gender equity in their organization.
Julie M. Howard, CEO Navigant

Andie & Al
2019-05-07T19:01:00+00:00
Andie and Al touch on a topic that is a raw nerve to so many. With a specific focus on the biases women encounter with each other in the workplace, Andie and Al have dissected the issue and its effects, providing an actionable roadmap for change. This book is a must for any executive looking to make real change and achieve gender equity in their organization. Julie M. Howard, CEO Navigant
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